When a loved one dies

When a loved one dies we are faced with a huge amount of emotion and lots of decisions but there are people here to help and it is important that you look after yourself as you grieve. You will have probably already made contact with an undertaker who will usually be in touch with the clergy to organise the nuts and bolts of the funeral arrangements. 

If you are looking at this page as someone who has recently lost a loved one please accept our condolences and be in touch with the clergy. A Requiem Mass can be organised to be said in the first few days after death before the funeral. The clergy are also available to visit you and your family for pastoral support.

If you have someone in your family who is coming towards the end of their life please be in touch as with the clergy as soon as possible so that we can come and visit and if appropriate give them the last rites (The sacraments of Confession, Anointing, and Holy Communion). Dying well is just as important as living well. This does not mean that it will necessarily be easy or comfortable but it will be in a setting of prayer and of being in a good relationship with God.

The funeral service

The undertakers will organise most of the arrangements with you however you will organise the service with the clergy. Remember that the clergy are professionals when it comes to organising services so we are more than happy to guide you. There is a set order of service with the opportunity for some personalisation such as with the music. Do remember that this iss a christian act of worship and so the clergy will also guide as to what may or may not be appropriate. 

Here is a form that will help you to gather your thoughts. It is best practice for each person to do this for their own funeral talking to their family about their wishes well before it ever comes to being needed.  This can be kept by the parish for when it is needed and the clergy would be very pleased to go through it with you.

Finances

Funerals can get very expensive. It is important to remember that we do not show that we loved someone more by spending more money on them after they have died. We love them by praying for them and by giving them a seemly but not necessarily expensive funeral. 

There is a statutory fee which parishes must charge for funerals. This is calculated by what type of funeral it is. you can see the list of fees for 2026 here.